The Dependency Project
A workbook for recognizing emotional dependency. A mirror with a pen.
Get the workbook · $19.95Instant PDF, yours to keep and printSecure checkout through Ko-fi. Pay more if you want to support the project.
The panic when a text goes unanswered. The apology you didn't owe. The hobby that quietly stopped being a thing you do. None of it happened in one day, and none of it has a name yet.
Seeing the Pattern is not therapy and it is not a diagnosis. It is a guided workbook of unfinished sentences. You finish them honestly, on paper, for no one but yourself. By the last page, the pattern that has been running things invisibly has a name in your own handwriting.
Every section ends with one line
The pattern I can see is...A pattern with a name loses its ability to run things invisibly. That is the entire method, and it is why the workbook is called what it is called.
Seven sections. Each one looks at a different corner of the same pattern, opening with a short reflection and moving into writing prompts.
People who lose themselves in other people. Who feel panic when someone pulls away, say sorry to keep the peace, and are always the strong one, the easy one, the one who never causes problems.
It works best printed, with a real pen, at whatever pace honesty allows. Some pages take two minutes and some take two days, and both of those are fine. Nobody grades it. Nobody else reads it.
A 17-page PDF, delivered instantly through Ko-fi after checkout. It's yours to keep, print, and revisit. If the workbook is ever updated, you can re-download the newest version.
No. Seeing the Pattern is a self-reflection tool. It is not therapy, medical advice, or a diagnosis, and it is not a substitute for care from a licensed professional.
It's a one-time price for a workbook you can use more than once; many people return to it as situations change. Checkout lets you pay more if you'd like to support the project, and every purchase keeps the free articles and resources on this site free.
No. Not knowing is the starting point the workbook is built for. It describes experiences first and lets the name come last, in your own words.
Seeing the Pattern works alongside professional care: as session prep, between-session homework, or a starting point for clients who don't yet have language for what they're living. It is honest about its limits, and its last page points readers toward professional support when the pattern runs deeper than paper.
Personal Edition
$19.95
One reader's copy. For your own use, or for a single client you purchase it for.
Get the Personal EditionIndividual Practitioner License
$99
Licensed to one clinician. Print and copy the workbook without limit for your own clients, for as long as you practice.
Get the Individual LicenseGroup Practice License
$249
One purchase covers your whole location: every clinician at your practice can print, copy, and share the workbook with their own clients. Covers up to 5 clinicians. Larger practice? Email for a quote.
Get the Group LicenseSeven sections. One honest pen. A pattern with a name.